"I want to marry your daughter."
Funny how you know that something's coming, all the signs are there, your eyes are wide open and you think you're prepared... yet when fate calls you're surprised as hell.
Flash back to last Thursday evening; I was sitting in front of my desk at home, playing with some Lisp code, when Bernice walked in with a thoughtful look, carrying the phone. "Joe wants to talk to you", she said carefully, placing the instrument into my hands. She lingered for half a moment as if to eavesdrop or give advice, and instead turned away to give us space. She knows what this is about.
Now Joe and I don't talk much -- we're acquainted, but we're not pals. The last time he called the house he had to introduce himself to me. So this call, where he specifically asked for me, is out of the ordinary. Whatever he's got on his mind must be important, right?
We'd missed an opportunity for some man talk when I was last in Memphis, back in May; Joe had to work late and we had to leave town early. Bernie has mentioned several times since that Joe really wanted that time together with me. I've been afraid to know why, and afraid that I already knew why.
So now Joe has rung us up and asked to talk to me. Game on. I accepted the phone from my wife and stepped out in the front yard, so's to have a semi-private conversation. As I passed through my front door the clammy heat and humidity of an early summer evening in Florida enshrouded me. "Hey, Joe. What's good?"
We made a little small talk about the weather, about Joe's year as a D3 dental school student, and some long-distance driving he had been doing lately. The conversation fizzled after that, and there was an awkward silence. "Well..." he said, pausing to gather himself. "I guess I should tell you why I'm calling." Here it comes. "I hate to do this over the phone, and I really wanted to talk to you when y'all were up here, but..." He cleared his throat, and declared: "I want to marry your daughter."
I expected it, I saw it coming a mile away, but I was still dumbstruck when he said the words. I think I said something lame in response, along the lines of "So do I, but I'm taken!" There was another awkward silence, during which I had the time to gather my wits about me. Okay Dave, this is a serious occasion. Get hold of yourself. Don't be funny. Don't make this harder for Joe than it has to be.
I told Joe that he had my blessing. "You're smart, you treat my daughter well, and my family likes you. You ran the gauntlet at Christmastime and endured life in a fishbowl with good humor. I'll be pleased to welcome you into the family. Congratulations."
Joe disclaimed that nothing was official yet. "I've got a ring", he said, "Had it for a while. Got it with me now, and I'm going over to her place." Alright, so congratulations might not be in order just yet. "We'll keep the news embargoed then. But keep us posted!" "I will."
I was wishing I'd had time to have that man talk with him in Memphis, and mentioned that we will have to make some beer time when we bring Allison up in August. He brightened, and assured me that he would see to it that we accomplished this. "I'm not a cheap date", I warned. "I don't drink that wussy Budweiser stuff. Are there any locals you think highly of? Any stouts?" The conversation immediately sidelined to beer -- something we both like to think we know something about, and common ground as well. So we talked about beer for a few minutes, and a pub or two in Memphis that he and his pals like.
We eventually hung up, and I walked sedately back into the house, a sheen of sweat on my forehead. I held the phone up to Bernice, not saying a word, and she took it from me -- afraid to ask. "He asked permission to marry our daughter", I said simply. "That's what I thought." "It's not official yet. She hasn't been asked. Nobody should know, not even Allison. It's their news to tell, not ours." "Okay." I turned away, extracted a beer from the fridge, and retired to my downstairs office. I contemplated having a married daughter, permanently moved out of the house and out of town. I contemplated having a son, something I never remotely considered before - until this very moment.
Presently I pulled another beer out of the fridge.
Allison's no dummy; she figured it out, of course. She came downstairs
a while later and asked Bernice "Who was that
on the phone?" "Joe." "What did he want?" "He wanted to talk to
your father." "What about?" "I don't know, but Daddy's on his second beer."
She nodded her understanding, and went back to her room.
posted at: 11:22 | path: /dailies | permanent link to this entry